Mint Choc MADNESS: YubiBar Issues Public Safety Warning
The following Public Safety Warning from YubiBar is in association with the Ministry of Mint Choc Addicts
Attention, citizens. It has come to our attention that, in the absence of Mint Choc YubiBars, some individuals have resorted to highly questionable methods to satisfy their cravings. We urge you—FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY—to refrain from the following dangerous behaviours:
1. DIY Mint Choc Protein Bar Substitutes
Reports indicate that desperate individuals have attempted to recreate Mint Choc Protein Bars by applying toothpaste to other YubiBars. While we appreciate your enthusiasm, YubiBar cannot endorse the combination of our delicious, affordable protein bars and dental hygiene products.
🚩 SIDE EFFECTS MAY INCLUDE: Intense regret, an oddly foamy texture, and mint-flavoured disappointment.
2. Hypnotizing Yourself into ‘Tasting’ Mint Choc
We’ve been made aware of certain experimental attempts to mentally relive the sensation of eating Mint Choc. Some have tried guided hypnosis, others have used mystical chants, and at least one person was found staring at a spinning peppermint for five hours straight.
🚩 OUTCOMES REPORTED: No actual Mint Choc consumption. Mild dizziness. One case of believing they were a Mint Choc bar.
3. Purchasing Suspicious ‘Mint Choc’ Knockoffs
Beware of unofficial YubiBar Mint Choc products, knock-off's or 'dupes' circulating in underground snack trade networks. If someone in a trench coat whispers, "Psst… I got the good stuff", you are not about to buy a legitimate YubiBar.
🚩RED FLAGS INCLUDE:
❌ The ‘chocolate’ melts at room temperature.
❌ The ‘mint’ tastes like dregs of a cheap air freshener.
❌ The ‘YubiBar’ logo is often mis-spelled or contains crude terminology.
❌ FAKE!
✅ LEGITIMATE YUBIBAR MINT CHOCREMAIN CALM – MINT CHOC IS BACK
We understand your struggle. We hear your cries. The return of Mint Choc YubiBar is imminent. Until then, we strongly advise patience, deep breaths, and not licking toothpaste off a protein bar.
Stay strong. Stay safe. And for the love of snacks, stay sane.
This has been a message from the YubiBar & the Ministry of Mint Choc Addicts.
